a steep depression

Today feeling depressed again... feels like I'm not really making any progress. Hard to wake up early enough in the day to get things done the way I'm supposed to. Who knows how many of these types of days that I've had. And it never seems to end, there's really no end in sight it seems. I have no energy, my body just feels weighed down like I'm dragging around boulders. Gravity insists. And I don't know how to lighten my load. I just feel heavy.

I know this is just part of the process, something in me is working something out that I don't fully understand. I've been fighting for eons and I'm so tired. At some point maybe I'll stop fighting and just embrace whatever state I'm in. I don't know. I think whatever happens it will have to happen organically. I'm just so tired. Perhaps at some point I will stop fighting and then the process will be free to continue? I don't know.

Anyway nothing left to say really... I'll see you later.