pining and recovering
July 8th, 2024 08:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wildcaribouIndeed a lot has changed, it's been months.
Well the last post I was going to make was going to be about this INFJ that I'm head over heels for. But the situation is a bit complicated. And since we haven't been able to speak again, I think I am realizing that this is god's game, not mine.
Instead, I have to see this situation for what it is. I'm supposed to develop my self-care abilities, once and for all. I'm supposed to take care of my long-term health, my body, my appearance, my hygiene,... this is now the time for that.
I'm no good to anyone the way that I am now. Stability for me will mean being able to take care of myself without struggle, in fact with enjoyment and enthusement.
I've worked very hard to become all the things I have become so far. I've really stretched myself like playdoh (or rather life has really stretched me and I've decided to go with it instead of against it because in a game of me vs life life wins) and I suppose this really is the final stretch.
I want to be someone who is caring about her appearance, her vitality, her health, her comfort, who is more soft and sensitive, at least to the degree that someone like me could ever possibly be. I want to be a bit hopeful, do everything I can to nurture and nourish and take care of my body.
A tip I got with 'boring' things was to not make them boring.. to make them interesting and novel even when they are usually mundane and uninteresting. This has given me some ideas. I can still be creative even while performing routine, I can just do it differently each time. Best way to get through life is fun. Maybe that can be my fun and relief, given I stress so much so often.
Let's see how it goes. I'm gonna give this a good red hot go. See if I can change myself once again, graduate from this most recent change into something even more new and wild and fulfilling. I want to be ready for all that is to come.
This is just my time to learn what I need to learn until I'm ready for the next step in my journey. Take this time to fully develop this side of you and when you are ready for the next stage you will deal with that when it gets here. I say keep trying and keep going. This is important stuff.
So in terms of what it means to become this, I will need a few good years to focus solely on this and just on stability in general, that will be my prime directive...every day a little novel adventure, every day little sprouts of growth, every moment focused on how I feel and what I need... that's how we build. I'm reminded of Caillou for some reason.
This is exciting!
Well the last post I was going to make was going to be about this INFJ that I'm head over heels for. But the situation is a bit complicated. And since we haven't been able to speak again, I think I am realizing that this is god's game, not mine.
Instead, I have to see this situation for what it is. I'm supposed to develop my self-care abilities, once and for all. I'm supposed to take care of my long-term health, my body, my appearance, my hygiene,... this is now the time for that.
I'm no good to anyone the way that I am now. Stability for me will mean being able to take care of myself without struggle, in fact with enjoyment and enthusement.
I've worked very hard to become all the things I have become so far. I've really stretched myself like playdoh (or rather life has really stretched me and I've decided to go with it instead of against it because in a game of me vs life life wins) and I suppose this really is the final stretch.
I want to be someone who is caring about her appearance, her vitality, her health, her comfort, who is more soft and sensitive, at least to the degree that someone like me could ever possibly be. I want to be a bit hopeful, do everything I can to nurture and nourish and take care of my body.
A tip I got with 'boring' things was to not make them boring.. to make them interesting and novel even when they are usually mundane and uninteresting. This has given me some ideas. I can still be creative even while performing routine, I can just do it differently each time. Best way to get through life is fun. Maybe that can be my fun and relief, given I stress so much so often.
Let's see how it goes. I'm gonna give this a good red hot go. See if I can change myself once again, graduate from this most recent change into something even more new and wild and fulfilling. I want to be ready for all that is to come.
This is just my time to learn what I need to learn until I'm ready for the next step in my journey. Take this time to fully develop this side of you and when you are ready for the next stage you will deal with that when it gets here. I say keep trying and keep going. This is important stuff.
So in terms of what it means to become this, I will need a few good years to focus solely on this and just on stability in general, that will be my prime directive...every day a little novel adventure, every day little sprouts of growth, every moment focused on how I feel and what I need... that's how we build. I'm reminded of Caillou for some reason.
This is exciting!
