heaviness

i feel like i have greater responsibility on my shoulders than ever before... the more i understand and learn the more responsible i feel,... sometimes it feels too hard to survive in this world,... my body is heavy with aching and pains and memories of a past lived in survival mode,... i wish i could at least be free from the horrendous torrent of torment bearing down on my being,... genuine freedom is hard to find,.. genuine release outside of reach,... i wish i could remove the daggers that are still embedded in my back,... sigh,..